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Student certain trash will take care of itself

**The Rotten Peay is not to be taken seriously. Everything said is satire and is 100 percent guaranteed to be a joke.**

When asked whether he was bothered by the trash littering most areas of Clarksville, one student scoffed and said it was no big deal.

“Litter never hurt anyone,” he said. “Everyone’s always whining about it, but the wind blows it away eventually.”

He was unsure whether the amount of trash had increased in recent days because he had been too focused on the recent election.

“You don’t see any of the politicians or news sites talking about trash, so it’s obviously not worth worrying about,” he said. “They only talk about important stuff.”

When asked about picking up trash, he was incredulous.

“Why do that?” he asked. “There are inmates who do that. Do I look like I’m wearing an orange jumpsuit? That’s ridiculous.”

He had no problem with people throwing trash into the river because he didn’t see the harm in one plastic bottle. The student also did not see any issues with making more landfills.

“The planet is huge,” he said. “I don’t know, like a million acres big. There are thousands and thousands of miles of ocean and land with no people on it, so it’s okay. It’s not like we’re ever going to run out. And it’s not like fish eat plastic or whatever, so we can throw as much stuff in the river as we want.”

When asked how he felt about the Great Pacific Garbage Patch, which National Geographic’s encyclopedia entry describes as huge “areas of spinning debris” in the Pacific Ocean that are made up of microplastics, the student paused.

“There’s no way that’s real,” he said. “I know plastic isn’t, what is it, biodegradable? But they don’t have any proof of that, right? I mean, you can’t see it from space, so they are probably making it up. National Geographic is always complaining about stuff like that. Besides, isn’t China way worse? Their cities are all polluted, so blame them.”

The student had to go because he had a headache.

“I don’t like thinking about this kind of stuff,” he said. “Let someone else worry about it.”

About Lauren Cottle

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