**The Rotten Peay is not to be taken seriously. Everything said is satire and is 100 percent guaranteed to be a joke.**
The holidays can be a fun time for some people. To honor these times, we made a list of ways to celebrate:
Christmas
1. Set up your Santa traps to catch the jolly man in the act.
2. Put a Santa hat on your animatronic bass fish.
3. Don’t, under any circumstances, go to Starbucks.
4. Watch It’s A Wonderful Life for the 27th time.
5. Turn on your fireplace for like the first time in a year.
Hanukkah
1. Bring out your dreidel from the movie Inception to show everyone you’re into popular culture.
2. Watch Adam Sandler movies that are overtly offensive to Jewish culture.
3. Do the Seth Rogen laugh.
4. I don’t know, eat fruit.
5. Light a candle for every time you cried during Inside Out.
Kwanzaa
1. Watch that one episode of the Proud Family.
2. Learn Swahili over the course of a few days.
3. Completely forget how to dance.
4. Try to forget about Uncle Bob.
5. Set your tree on fire to save on the electric bill.
Boxing Day
1. Hide your money under your mattress for this banking holiday.
2. Donate to the corrupt politician of your choice.
3. Realize that money and the free market are merely an illusion.
4. Buy more stuff anyway.
5. Cry until your bank account is less pathetic.
