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Robot apocalypse

How humanity will end is a hotly debated topic. Some say fire, some say ice, sure. I think, however, we will be destroyed by robots.

That’s right: I’m automatonophobic. I hate those jerks and their stupid, mechanical brains. That term isn’t entirely accurate, however; I may have an irrational fear of robots, but I only have minor fears of ventriloquist dummies and porcelain dolls.

I think most of my fear has a basis in reality, however. Any kid raised watching the Terminator and Alien series is bound to have some crazy fears. I just barely missed the clown fear from “It.”

Seriously, though, no child can walk away from seeing Sarah Conner get blown to dust during a nuclear blast and be totally copacetic, whether it actually happened or not.

*Shiver*

My point remains: Artificial intelligence is a force to be reckoned with. Think about Google’s robocars; they drive all by themselves.

If that wasn’t creepy enough, think about how it’ll be when robot brains get even more thinking power. One of the robocars got into an accident when someone manually drove it, the first accident ever for these little cars.

What if the robot gets it into its head that humans are inferior? What’s the point of an inferior species? To serve as horses and cows serve man today?

You may say, “Marina, scientists won’t let it get that far. They’ll make sure robots don’t kill us all.”

OK, reader, consider the story of the Geth in “Mass Effect.” An alien species called the Quarian created the Geth to serve them, advancing them slowly over the span of years. When a robot began to show signs of artificial intelligence, they were so deeply embedded in the planet that the Quarians were forced to flee. They wandered the galaxies for years afterward, never to know a home.

From the Migrant Fleet page in the Mass Effect wiki.
From the Migrant Fleet page in the Mass Effect wiki.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t think our technology is advanced enough to facilitate a planet-wide evacuation. It is advanced enough, however, to wipe out all humans.

If wide-spread destruction isn’t enough to deter you, how about this: Robots would get civil rights.

That’s right, in a — albeit hilarious — study headed by Kate Darling (AKA my Woman Crush Wednesday), it was discovered that people are even more attached to these humanoid creatures than originally suspected. It’s similar to the idea that whales are out, but puppies are in. If something is cute or relatable, we’re more inclined to try to protect it.

BBC's picture of Kate Darling and a Pleo.
BBC’s picture of Kate Darling and a Pleo.

That means fewer jobs for humans! If you leave it to Google, we won’t even be allowed to drive, for Pete’s sake. Where does it end?

Some people are even flirting with the line, doing their best to make computers as intelligent as they can, like computer programs that attempt to fool people into thinking they’re real. James Lyne, the guy who wrote that article I just linked, is pro-robot advancement.

I would also like to note that I lost a lot of my draft for this blog when my computer decided to betray me and restart on its own. Coincidence? I think not.

I’m sure there are some great possibilities out there for robots to help us in the future; maybe there can be programs to develop space ships or something. That’s fine. I don’t think there should be investigation into artificial intelligence, however. I don’t know about you, but I don’t really trust others with this power. How many awesome b-movies start with a mad scientist raving about his inventions?

Let’s give the future a better plot, guys.

Games

I’ve been babbling on about “Evolve” lately, and now I’ve actually played the game. To be honest with you guys, I’m a bit disappointed. This has a lot more to do with me than it does with the game, I’m sure. I’ve always been more into games with plot than those that focus on multiplayer gameplay and fighting.

This game does not have a storyline, and it doesn’t focus on character development at all, from what I can tell. It even replays the same cut scenes over and over. That’s really sad, too, because it has some awesome characters.

Before, I said that there were only four characters, which is untrue. You start out with four and gain the other 12 through leveling. I believe they changed the main four since I last checked up on it, so there are two ladies instead of just the one female medic. When you look at all 12 characters, however, there are three females, which still makes it a four-to-one ratio, but at least the women they have are really cool.

I’m not sure if the story gets better as you go further, because I really suck at this game. When you finish a match, it shows you stats from players across the world, and mine are way low. The only character I’m sort of good at is this coolest one, though — the medic. She has abilities that slow the monsters, create weak spots on them and heal the hunters with ray beams and exploding dust, which is super useful. She’s kind of a cool, flying pixie.

If possible, I’m even worse at playing the monster than the hunters. Your purpose is to eat creatures so you can get bigger, evolve and go all the way up to a wicked stage three. Like the hunters, you can gain more monsters by leveling up, and they all look super awesome. Too bad I’ll probably never get there.

One exception to my suckiness is when I actually deigned to play with real people instead of bots. Through some strange glitch, I got to be the Wraith, which is the third monster you can get. It’s a crazy, stealthy monster that rips people to shreds.

Added by Pinkachu on the Evolve wikia.
Added by Pinkachu on the Evolve wikia.

Apparently it was a bot or another player before, because I landed in this guy just as he got to stage three with the hunters on his tail. I turned around and owned those guys so fast I was kind of embarrassed for them. If I’d had a mic, I so would’ve trash talked them. Either way, check out some gameplay videos before you drop a ton of cash on it. Fair warning though: This game is fueled by adrenaline. It’s exhausting to play, much like “Alien: Isolation.”

Anyway, that’s it for now.

Luke, *kershhhh* I am your blogger.

Conversely, Terminator

About Marina Head

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