There are several roles you can fill in gaming, and every one of them says a little something about you. I’ll lay it all out for you here.

The Sniper

Anyone who has ever played multiplayer, especially online, has the experience burned into their brain: You’re running along, minding your own business, and then suddenly, you’re on the ground. What happened? Freaking sniper.


No one likes the sniper, which generally says they’re either a sociopath who just doesn’t care about other people’s emotions, or they’re a jerk who delights in causing others pain. Either way, this person is extremely competitive and will do whatever it takes to stay on top. They’re also probably a loner who doesn’t trust other people to have their back. They also probably just hate fun.

The Healer

While many might say a healer is a person who likes to help people, I’m not entirely on board with that idea. A healer, generally, is just as competitive as a sniper but doesn’t have the jerk gene or maybe the skill to really commit to winning. Instead, they play at keeping everyone alive so their teammates can win the fight for them. If they lose, well, that’s just because they didn’t defend the healer well enough, right?

In short, the healer is a person who doesn’t like to accept responsibility for failure, but when victory’s afoot, they know deep down that it was all because of them.

The Tank

You can say all you want about the tank being some big meat head who’s out to flex their muscles, but they are literally the nicest person on the team. They know someone has to do the job, and they are just filling that role.

I don't know how this happened, but I seem to have a cat theme...

I don’t know how this happened, but I seem to have a cat theme…

This person does what it takes to win but does it the straight-forward, honest way, and they’ll have your back no matter what. They know they won’t get as much credit because, “well that’s only because your defense stat is so high,” but they do it anyway. If I were you, I’d make this person my drinking buddy.

The Magician

This is probably the most annoying person in the group. They’re an attention-seeker, and not just in the glory hogging sense. They also probably really like anime a lot and say Japenglish words like, “Ohmigosh, Michael-san, that T-shirt is kawaii!” Either that, or they whine a lot about their lives and spend a good deal of time playing the Magic card game. If they get a choice of race, it will almost definitely be an elf or a pixie.

Not even gonna fight the cat theme.

Not even gonna fight the cat theme.

On the other hand, it could also be someone who is completely new to the scene and doesn’t realize what a huge mistake they’ve made, which will be rectified quickly when they decide to take on another role.

The Support

I don’t think I’ve actually hear anyone say they prefer support class. It’s just kind of like, oh crap I got last pick and here I am. This is probably the person who gets picked last at dodgeball or who sits in the back of the classroom quietly, not because they’re too smart or awkward to join the class but because they are literally too bland to contribute.

I think this person probably didn’t really want to game but got dragged in anyway by a stranger because they were awkwardly standing nearby twiddling their thumbs.

Or hey, I could totally be doing this person an injustice. They could totally just be a nice person who likes to…increase other people’s attack stats, whatever.

The Assault

This is probably what the newb magician will turn back to, or it’s what the newb chooses to begin with. It’s also the fallback of any gamer because it’s literally just “point and shoot.” This is where you get your Average Joe gamers, though its ranks have been polluted from time to time by jerk snipers in games without sniping.

giphy (3)

These guys just want to do their gamer duty and kill crap, preferably by blowing it up. Like the human race choice in any game, it’s good for everyone and extremely general. I almost want to tell this person to forge their own path, be themselves, but this person is the bread and butter of gaming.

The Rogue

I want to say this is where the assault class goes when they decide they want to do something more lucrative, but that’s only because that’s how I did it. Generalization is bad. Either way, rogues are kind of jerks, but they’re not really braggarts about it. They’re out for numero uno, and can you really blame them for that?

giphy (4)

This is also a role for people who really like shiny things and money, even if it’s fake money, and there’s a ton of pranksters as well. They don’t want the limelight because that’s not exactly sneaky, but they won’t say no to a monetary reward. Like Madonna, a rogue is just a material girl in a material world.

Other Geekery

That’s all for roles. I swear, this took twice as long as usual because I kept getting distracted by cat gifs. Sorry if the assault one was a little graphic. It mesmerized me…

I’m sure there are more roles to consider, but these are the most prevalent. A lot of games mix them up a bit, like many make the tank and the assault one–sword and shield character–or make the magic-user able to cast healing spells, but they still have fairly distinct traits. This is also a joke so don’t get all mad that I called you an elf–I’d get mad too, I understand.

As for other geeky stuff, dude, Avengers: Age of Ultron just came out so go watch it! I had an exam this morning, lame, so I’ll be going tonight hopefully.

Jaws of Hakkon isn’t coming out for PS4 until May 26, ugh, so we’ll have to wait on that. For all consoles, there’s a sweet multiplayer expansion for Inquisition coming May 5, all consoles, and it’s got Isabella in it!

Star Wars Day, May the fourth be with you, is coming up. In case you don’t get that, it’s May 4. PlayStation’s got some cool stuff going on, including plenty of PS2 Star Wars games releasing for PS3.

Okay, I’m off my PlayStation soapbox. In other news, there’s going to be a frakking Galaxy Quest TV show, which is ridiculously awesome. If you haven’t seen the movie, it’s got Sigourney Weaver, Tim Allen and Alan Rickman, along with many other great actors, it’s hilarious and it’s on Netflix.

Enjoy your weekend and blog you later!