The business of giving advice is tricky. The adviser must have had enough trials and tribulations to be jaded, but also enough victories to be hopeful. Let’s say I’m a pro.

Let’s just say . . . you want a tattoo.

Your body is a temple. So why not decorate the walls?

I’m a huge fan of tattoos. If I had the money and my mom wouldn’t totally kill me, I would be covered in them. Pictures, words and colors just make skin 100 percent more interesting. Tattoos tell stories of the people who have them.

It also makes you hotter. Hello. Look at David Beckham.

david beckham 1

That doesn’t mean people don’t still mistreat the art. I’ve seen enough Winnie the Pooh and infinity sign tattoos to last me a lifetime.

Here are some tips if you’re considering decorating your own walls:


Think before you ink.

I’m sure that tribal sleeve seamed like a good idea when you were a football jock in high school, and that butterfly tramp stamp was the perfect way to rebel against your parent, but please think of how you will explain that to your parents, kids and future employers. Let’s stray away from cuss words, naked women and other things that aren’t socially acceptable. Also refrain from being under the influence while getting a tattoo. No need to wake up with permanent regrets.

hangover tattoo

No names.

I know you are madly in love with your significant other. So much so that you talk 24/7, never fight and are already talking about marriage four months into your relationship. Did you catch my heavy sarcasm there? Never, under any circumstances, get your bae’s name, initials or face (yeah, I’ve seen it happen) permanently inked on your body. It’s pretty much a curse, and you’ll break up eventually*.


*Memorial tattoos are an entirely different story. Remembering a loved one is acceptable.


Keep it squeaky clean.

From picking where you’re getting your ink to nursing your new piece after it’s done, always be clean. Don’t drive out to a sketchy place on Fort Campbell Boulevard at 11 p.m. Been there, done that. It was terrifying. Do your research and make yourself familiar with standard health procedures for tattooing. You should see the artist wash their hands, open a brand new needle and wash their hands again. Even after you go home with your new decoration, always wash it the correct way.


Take my advice and follow your heart, and you’ll have a beautiful piece of art on your body in no time.

Hugs, kisses and all my best wishes.