I took a long hard road to get here, but it finally happened.
All the research, drafting, screaming and bragging paid off, because my name now sits on top of not just one, but three fantasy football league lists next to the words “league champion.” I cannot help but grin evilly every time I think about it.
My original goal was to win one championship and officially earn my “guru” status. To earn the title over my peers at The All State and APSU (and write about it in the newspaper) was just a perk to sweeten the deal. The fact I have ended this fantasy football season with three titles astounds even my considerable ego.
As a champion, I now have two choices. I can either graciously accept my victories, humbly thank those who played and walk away at the top of my game, or I can take this opportunity to say “I told you so” and mercilessly mock the unfortunate opponents who had the misfortune to challenge me and lose.
Is anyone really surprised I chose the second option?
First, some music to establish the mood: start James Brown’s “I Got the Feeling” here.
I got the feeling,
Baby, baby, I got the feeling.
Now, as I look down the long list of losers who no doubt have tears in their eyes wondering what happened, I want to pay special tribute to the members of The All State league.
First, the guy who made it to the finals with me, Joe Mills, you made some brilliant moves to make it to the championship game. The only real flaw in your strategy was not understanding when you ultimately faced me in the championship game, you could not possibly win. Enjoy second place. It was the natural conclusion of your season.
Next “TheRook” David Scherer, you amused me with your enthusiastic bragging after an impressive start. However, it turned out you did not even have the skill to make it to the championship game. You probably think third place is still a good finish. Like so many things this season, you are wrong.
Anthony Shingler, David Davenport and Devon Robinson all finished in the bottom half of the league. As a result, I can barely remember them enough to spare a few words.
“The lucky one” Shingler, this is further proof last season was luck. Too bad it did not last this season. Maybe you should have carried a rabbit’s foot.
Davenport, I consider you collateral damage. However, I did enjoy how you owned Scherer.
Last and certainly least, my arch nemesis, good guy Robinson, I can barely express how awesome it is you finished last when I finished first. It reinforces my perspective of the universe. It would be cruel to mention as a member of the other league I also earned first place in, technically I beat you twice.
It’s good to be the king.
Doing another victory dance,