The business of giving advice is tricky. The adviser must have had enough trials and tribulations to be jaded, but also enough victories to be hopeful. Let’s say I’m a pro. Let’s say you just started college.

Let’s say you have a crush.

“What exactly is a crush?” you may ask. How do I know if I have one? Do I need to see a doctor? Good questions.


A crush is someone who makes you stop breathing when they walk into a room. A bat of their eyelashes or a swoop their hair can cause you major heart palpations. If by some miracle they utter your name, there’s a 43 percent chance you’ll faint. A crush is who you have good dreams about and always look for in a crowd. They’re the happy ending to #FindABae2014.


The downside of having a crush is stated directly in its name: It crushes you. Spending countless hours picking out the perfect modest skirt that shows off your legs just enough becomes the norm. You get behind on taking notes for class because daydreaming seems like a better idea. Even the wittiest person can turn into mush around their crush.


I am a chronic crusher. I have a crush on Mark Wahlburg and the cute saxophone player in the Governor’s Own Marching Band. I had a crush on my best friend’s best friend after he got a really nice haircut, and I had a crush on a guy in my psychology class because he was on my side in a class discussion. However, they are just pretty things to look at, and I usually keep it to myself.

When I crush hard, it’s noticeable. I can give relationship advice until I’m blue in the face, but when it comes to my own life, I’m helpless. Ask my friends, my roommates and my mom; smitten Emily is a handful.

The beautiful thing in this mess is that crushes can turn into relationships. All you have to do is play it cool, be yourself and know you are fabulous. If it doesn’t work out, on to the next one. If it does, all the crushing was worth it.


Hugs, kisses and all of my best wishes. TAS

Emily DeSpain