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Fake dating: online dating is harming social skills

In recent years, the popularity of online dating has skyrocketed. However, the technological era of romance is affecting society’s view of what it truly means to be in love.

Websites and apps such as eHarmony, Match and Tinder are obsessively used in place of actually going out and meeting a potential partner. The nervous feeling of asking a crush out on a first date is slowly becoming extinct. Actual dating is simply a thing of the past that needs to be sparked again.

Nowadays, people are lacking in face-to-face conversation, which leads to the fear of asking a person on a date. The main reason online dating is so popular is because it eliminates the fear of being rejected in person.

Dating coach and author Adam LoDolce believes in meeting people organically, but the paralyzing fear of rejection has led society to crave the separation technology offers. Consequently, people hide behind a computer screen, which eliminates rejection and destroys  social skills.

In an interview with CNN, body language expert and founder of The NonVerbal Group, Blake Eastman said, “Unfortunately, for the past 10 years, people have been really confident behind the computer keyboard, but then you see them in person, and things are very different.”

It is easy to hold a conversation through typing, as one has time to make a winning response and express emotions through emojis.However, the beauty of love is being able to hold a quality conversation and to impress the other person with one’s unique charm.

With online dating, people lose social skills and miss out on the partner’s body language and true character.

Another problem with the online dating world is the total lack of chemistry between two people. People are no longer truly taking the time to get to know each other on a real day-to-day basis. There is no true attachment connected with a profile picture, small biography and vague online conversation.

True chemistry arises with planning outings filled with laughter and quirkiness. A person falls in love when he or she is connected with the other individual for who they truly are; the online world simply does not offer the same bond as one would find in person-to-person contact.

With apps and sites such as Tinder and eHarmony, a person has a limitless array of options, allowing them to never settle with one person. Sometimes, one will engage in small talk with another user for a week before getting disinterested and moving on to the next.

“People are ruling out more than they’re ruling in,” said blogger Marni Battista. “After a date, they go home, get online and look for someone else. We’re in this digital instant gratification age, and there is no patience for the dating process.” The real dating world is not like that. An individual does not just get bored over a few online messages; people go out to dinner, have in-depth conversations and learn about each other to see if they are meant to be together.

“Our generation is more likely to seek out online dating because of our obsessions with social media,” said senior business major, Brady Burow.With social media being such an influence in today’s culture, young adults may feel the only way to date now is online.However, more social media brought into one’s life means less human interaction, causing some to become socially awkward.

Today, it is more common to find one’s crush on Facebook or Instagram, like a few photos, then proceed to an online message, all before having actual contact with the person. This is predominately why “real” dating is becoming a scarcity; people are losing the ability to impress their crush through social interaction.

With the hit buzz of online dating, society will never be able to experience real dating and true love. Dating websites only lead to less person-to-person interaction and one will never know the true individual.

Actual dating needs to rise up again so people can experience what it really means to fall in love.

About Sarah Eskildson

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