By Jess Nobert | Senior Staff Writer

With this final issue of the semester, I tried to find some pretty ridiculous stories. None are old, no “best-of’s” and no stragglers.

I love my baseball, and have The Seattle Times’ Mariners headlines on my Google homepage. Every once in a while, when I send a good baseball story on to a friend, I see a great headline that obviously goes to a story which cant go unread.

Last week, “A senior Iranian cleric says women who wear immodest clothing and behave promiscuously are to blame for earthquakes,” according to The Seattle Times website. Now some people who know me a little better know I’m absolutely terrified of earthquakes, and just the thought of them makes my heart rate sky rocket and anxiety sets in pretty heavily. So, naturally, when I saw this headline, it caught my attention.

With all the catastrophic quakes over the semester, I’m just glad we finally found out what has been causing them.

According to the article, Iran is one of the most earthquake-prone countries in the world.

“‘Many women who do not dress modestly … lead young men astray, corrupt their chastity and spread adultery in society, which (consequently) increases earthquakes,’ Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi was quoted as saying by Iranian media. Sedighi is Tehran’s acting Friday prayer leader,” the article states.

If I have to cover up to avoid my greatest fear, I’d do it. But really, this is just as ridiculous as Hugo Chavez’s earthquake machine stories I wrote about earlier in the semester.

Natural disasters are called that for a reason, they just happen naturally.

As you know by now, I love my twitter. I tweet, follow, re-tweet and all that, but some things just warrant a little more attention.

With great technology comes great responsibility. I have my Twitter on my iPhone, and I’m guessing this next guy did, too. Until he lost it.

“It’s probably been a tough week for Apple engineer Gray Powell, what with him reportedly losing a next-generation iPhone in a bar, only to see photos of the super-secret device later splashed across the Internet.”

It seems Powell left his 4G iPhone at a German bar in Redwood City, Calif. last week. When Lufthansa airlines found out, they offered him a free ride to Germany too, I can only assume, drown his sorrows in more German beer (well CNN assumes the same). They even posted the invitation as an open letter on Twitter.

According to the article, “The iPhone was later sold to tech blog Gizmodo for $5,000.”

The final story I found, also from my well visited CNN.com, is about a mom in Alabama who has been sentenced to jail time after her eighth grade son skipped a few too many school days.

Since CNN got the story from the local station, WHNT of Huntsville, I opted to visit their website to see the full written details.

“Teresa McCullers is in the Marshall County jail charged with failure to comply and contempt of court. Those charges stem from a truancy issue with her son,” the network reported.

“Marshall County Judge Tim Riley sentenced McCullars to 97 days in jail because those are the same number of days her son missed of school. Students are only allowed to have five unexcused absences.”

It went on to say truancy is punishable by the student’s guardian serving jail time and that she had been warned of her son’s absences.

It’s a good thing my schools never enforced this policy. My siblings, and myself a few too many times, opted out of school. Granted our parents never ended up behind bars, it didn’t go unnoticed to this extent.

Good luck with finals. Congratulations to all the graduates. Have a great summer, hope to see you back on campus in the fall.

There seems to be quite a few ridiculous stories related to air travel lately.

Last week there was a guy in LAX International Airport who decided he didn’t really need secondary screening of his luggage and just went on his way through the terminal.

TSA agents must have turned their backs for quite a while to let him just book through, especially since they took so long to find him.

According to the story on CNN.com, all the passengers in the terminal were told to stop where they were and just wait. All the air traffic was halted from the terminals, too, so no one missed their flight.

I just don’t get it. How can a passenger just get away like that? I know LAX is a pretty busy place, but I’ve never seen it so packed that someone can just disappear.

And then there was the Qatari diplomat who decided it was a good idea to smoke in the airplane bathroom. He was on a flight from Washington, D.C. to Denver on business and apparently just couldn’t take it anymore. According to the story from CNN, he was in the lavatory for an extended period of time before they busted him.

Airline employees got a little freaked out because “initial reports that he may have attempted to set a shoe on fire — a report that may have stemmed from what one U.S. official called an ‘unfortunate comment’ by the diplomat,” according to the article. Luckily, he was just lighting up and nothing more. Once the flight landed, they let him go and he got to go on with his business.

It’s getting so ridiculous these days to fly. Everyone gets profiled for something it seems and most of us lose out.

When I come home next month, I can only bring one carry on bag thanks to the kid who thought it was good idea to light his shorts on fire. It’s almost not worth the hassle for people to travel anymore. If there were still reliable boats and it were still cool, I’d take a cruise back to the States then catch a train back to the west coast.

I’ve been trying a little harder to follow the news lately. When I’m not following the air travel updates, I read the other news.

But this next story really got my attention. A mother from Bedford County, Tenn. adopted a 7-year-old Russian boy, brought him home, and then sent him back to Russia, according to CNN.

The adoptive mother, Torry Hansen, said the child showed violent behavior and Russian officials didn’t warn her about it. What if they had? Would she have just not taken him because of the challenge? Children born to their parents don’t get to just go back when they cause trouble, why does this get to be different?

Now that it looks like all I did was read CNN this week, I’ve got a few recommended to me by friends.

Last week I got a story from a friend about a guy who got a parking ticket. We all know someone who has gotten one, maybe even on campus. But this guy did it up good. He wasn’t even parked for a minute when the cop started writing him up.

The guy decided to write the City of Melbourne a letter stating why he thought he shouldn’t have to pay for the ticket. Since it was clearly ridiculous he got it to begin with as he only parked, went to the trunk to get his money for the meter then noticed the parking officer.

I guess the city agreed with the man and withdrew his ticket. The story is on the Huffington Post website. And you can read both letters and see the ticket.

And I guess my Facebook stalking has gotten pretty good lately. I wasn’t even tagged in a photo, nor was it shared with me, but there was a comment on a picture of ExtenZe Male Enhancement drinks and one comment said I should write about it.

Well, I am. It’s one thing to have these “supplements” to enhance, um, parts. But it’s something completely new to make it just as easily attainable as a buzz.

Put it in a can, take a few sips and enjoy the night? Well, I think that’s what they’re going for. I wanted to do a little research on the product before ripping its ridiculousness, but the website that bears the products name has no information beyond the home page.

It does, however, tell the drink’s tag line: “Drink … enjoy … and enjoy again.”

I hope everyone had a good holiday. Whether you celebrate for religious reasons or for the bunny reasons, Easter always comes with a few good things: family, time off from school and sports.

Monday night, April 5, was the NCAA Men’s Basketball Championship. And as much as I would love to comment, the game was after press time, so I guess it doesn’t make the cut.

But I’m sure there were ridiculous calls, and to many, the winner will have celebrated a ridiculous season with a great win.

But since I can’t report on that game, I did find a few other sports related stories I’m sure have gotten a little attention here and there.

The Eagles traded Donovan McNabb to Washington? Really? I didn’t really understand why this was such a huge story until I read it. I don’t follow football, as many loyal readers know, but I do understand rivalry.

But is this like Brett Favre leaving Green Bay for the Vikings? I guess I just think the situation is ridiculous. It’s just crazy to me when teams trade their No. 1 guy away. Never really made sense to me.

In a sport-related story garnering fewer headlines, the Obamas hosted the annual White House Easter Egg Roll over the weekend.

This year it wasn’t about candy and bunnies; they were pushing fitness and discouraging childhood obesity. They offered other games departing from the traditional rolling of the egg and had a lot of high profile guests.

Since when does Easter require the presence of J. K. Rowling and Spongebob? And Captain Planet was there? I didn’t know children still knew who he was.

This was all part of First Lady Michelle Obama’s campaign to end childhood obesity according to an article from The Chicago Tribune.

But that wasn’t the only athletic display from the president. His appearance on the mound on Opening Day for the Washington Nationals was much better and required fewer cartoon characters.

Though he didn’t throw a strike (one of the few impressive things George Bush was able to accomplish during his presidency), he did bust out the White Sox hat once he stepped up on the rubber.

Speaking of Illinois-native politicians, my favorite Rod was fired by Donald Trump on Sunday, April 4. I never cared much for “The Apprentice” series, so I really don’t care who is on, who gets fired or who wins. But this is supposed to be the “Celebrity Apprentice.”

What part of the definition of celebrity does Rod Blagojevich fit? As far as I can tell, he was just a guy with too much hair who was on TV too much, oh wait. I know why he’s on, so Donald doesn’t have the worst hair on the show.

But why would he fire him? I guess he must have missed being in his own spotlight. Blago’s hair must have been casting a shadow.

By Jess Nobert | Senior Staff Writer

“Hopey changey stuff.” That’s about all Sarah Palin has going for her these days. At her last few public appearances I’ve seen coverage of, she’s made reference to her play on words to more or less attack Barack Obama’s campaign platform. And everything I’ve seen her campaign for, aside for the teleprompter, has been a joke. Really Sarah, no more taxes? What about roads and schools? And all those other socialist things we have like social security and medicaid? Surely you don’t want to get rid of those things, too.

But enough about Sarah Palin, lets move to another person who shouldn’t get much press time. A friend told me about this story and I could not help but cover it here. A man who was incredibly intoxicated thought it would be a great idea to stop on the side of the road to give an opossum mouth-to-mouth.

Well here’s the thing, so what if the guy was tanked, he got busted resuscitating a dead animal on the side of the road. Either way, here comes the best part: it was in the middle of the afternoon in a Pennsylvania township. Thank you Donald Wolfe, 55, of Brookville, for one of the greatest laughs of the week. And thank you to the AP for giving me the facts to such a great story.

Speaking of ridiculous, apparently Jesse James’ lover didn’t know he was still with now estranged wife Sandra Bullock. According to a story from the New York Post, “Michelle ‘Bombshell’ McGee realized that her boyfriend, Jesse James, was still with his wife, Sandra Bullock, only after spotting the couple together at the Academy Awards, according to the home wrecker’s dad.” And that last part is definitely from them, not from me.

According to McGee’s father, they were two single people dating; he didn’t know James and Bullock were still together. And now, both women are hiding out. Ridiculous. Next time you want to hook up with someone else James, leave your wife first.
Keeping with the celeb-cheating theme, Tiger Woods’ wife Elin will not be at the Master’s tournament according to USA Today. She will be at home, in Sweden, spending time with family and friends. Don’t worry; these stories are making local news here (in Sweden), too.

But aside from celebrity gossip, I did find one serious story this week. It is something that’s been going on for over a year, which I’ve found stories for, and I just find it so ridiculous. There are young people out there who are committing suicide because they are being bullied at school. I could not believe it.

I know I’m not that old, and clearly there haven’t been any major developments in the art of bullying. We’re likely all victims of it to one degree or another during our younger years, and honestly, many of us are now the ones doing it ourselves whether we think of it that way or not.

The stories I found were all about minors. People who weren’t only just under 18, but at least one mainstream victim was under 10. What could kids possibly be saying to each other these days to make them want to kill themselves? The ages of the four kids I read about ranged from 9 to 17 years old. I don’t know about you, but at such an age of 9, I didn’t even honestly know what it meant to be hanged much less think of how to do it myself.

In all of the pop culture jokes I make, and all of the celebrity gossip I write about, not many stories ring so ridiculous as children taking their own lives based on what other children have been saying to them. We need to do something about this. Start telling our kids, our friend’s kids, nieces and nephews, whoever, that it’s not that bad. Teach them some self-respect and tell them they are better than the words other kids say to them. This is one ridiculous story I never want to have to write about again.

By Jess Nobert | Senior Staff Writer

Miley Cyrus was a guest judge on “American Idol” this week. Since The All State goes to print before the show airs, I can’t really tell how I feel about her actual appearance.

I can, however, tell you I think it’s absolutely ridiculous. I was reading “The TV Column” from The Washington Post online when I found out about her appearance.

What does this girl have that can’t be found in an adult? Is it success as an actress? Is it her famous daddy or her latest movie set to come out next week?

I can’t lie, I like to rock out to Miley just as much as my friends would love to deny, but I just don’t get why she gets to be on Idol. (And of course, as soon as I wrote that, I had a burning desire to pull up my iTunes and type her name into the search field and press play.)

That wasn’t all I learned from the column though. “She’s also the youngest-ever multi-platinum recording artist to have four No. 1 albums in less than three years.”

Keeping with pop culture and reality TV, Kate Gosselin is on “Dancing with the Stars.” According to the story from USA Today, Gosselin said she’s “grateful to have a job and everybody who gives me work so I can support eight kids. That’s my goal in life.” Like my Miley fandom, I do feel a little ridiculous when I have to admit to my non-college girlfriends I am, or, was a fan of “Jon & Kate Plus 8.”

So I can admire her desire to work, since she was doing so much work in front of a camera for those years. Granted, she did end up writing a few books, and that is real work.

I can only imagine. Either way, I just think it’s ridiculous how reality personalities become famous enough to be on a ballroom dancing show. And as far as a ballroom dancing reality show, don’t even get me started on that ridiculousness.

Octomom. Usually that’s all I have to say to bring about feelings of ridiculousness. But she’s back in the news, great. Her house is going into foreclosure, so as if to offer a helping hand, Steven Hirsch, president of Vivid Entertainment, an adult entertainment company, offered her something we will just have to see if she can refuse.

The company offered her a deal last year of $1 million, but she refused.

This time, the offer was less than half, cut back to the $460,000 she owes on her home, according to Salon.com.

My favorite part of the story was the beginning. “After all, she has the trait that is more sought-after within the industry than even [augmented body parts]: total desperation.”

I was reading a story about Tiger making a comeback to golf and potentially competing in the Masters at Augusta in Georgia when I came across something startlingly appalling.

Now I knew they only started letting African-Americans play there since the ’90s, but I did not know they didn’t allow women as members.

In the article from Salon.com, it was reported “In 2002, its chairman, Hootie Johnson, told USA Today, ‘We’re a private club. And private organizations are good. The Boy Scouts. The Girl Scouts. Junior League. Sororities. Fraternities.’”

As an alumnae member of a Greek organization, I can appreciate that part, but I just don’t see a golf club on par with those standards. We’ve all heard the term “old boys club” but it appears Augusta really is one.

I hope everyone enjoyed spring break and survived mid-terms.

Before I get into the new ridiculous stories I found, I want to go back and hit a few I missed out on while I was catching up on my Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert.

In early February, the first TEA Party convention was in Nashville. I am so sorry I had to miss it, but I suppose I can try to make the next one. Sarah Palin, America’s second would-be neighbor, spoke at the convention and made a fool of herself.

I understand President Obama has become a little ridiculous with his teleprompter dependency, like the one he brought to speak to a school classroom, but Palin just went over the edge. I suppose she was afraid to forget her shopping list so she wrote it on her hand. Oh wait, that wasn’t her shopping list, it was her speaking notes. Seriously?

Though I didn’t see it anywhere during her initial speech when she referred to her note hand, she made a very obvious glance at it during an interview afterward.

You know that sneak you tried to pull in middle school when you didn’t know the answer and the teacher always busted you? It was that exact thing.

How in the world is this person so admired when she can’t even think to take a piece of paper with her to a lectern? Ridiculous.

So Sarah, next time you make a joke about Barack, refer to your notes on how you can do better. I just hope they’re not written on your hand.

And I guess the Republicans were just on a roll while I was away, but they’re the stars in this story, too.

After a heavy load of Obama bashing when it comes to what they call his “elitist behavior” and spending so much time in exotic places, The Republican National Committee held its annual meeting in Hawaii.

John Oliver from “The Daily Show” did such a great job of satirizing the meeting where they really dug themselves in a hole. But don’t worry, Michael Steele, RNC chairman clarified when he said, “This is not a vacation.”

When someone gripes about spending too much money, do they usually follow it up with an island vacation?

When someone complains about how universal health care is the worst thing for our country, do they go to a place that has been successfully using it for 40 years only to say what a failure it is? Well, the RNC does.

But the simple act of having their meeting in Hawaii wasn’t enough to make them look stupid. They said a lot of great things as well. I’ll give you just a few of my favorites.

As Oliver put it, “When Obama comes to Hawaii, its because hes out of touch and elitist. When republicans come to Hawaii its because

…” The unnamed woman he was interviewing had no response.

Another attendee said the change has to start with fiscal responsibility. “The average American is having a real tough time,” said another man, as he’s hanging out in Hawaii.

Not to mention the private submarine they got to play on.

Ridiculous. You can watch the clip for yourself on “The Daily Show’s” Web site www.thedailyshow.com/videos. It’s under the title RNC Meeting in Hawaii.

Other than a few political figures gaffing worse than Joe Biden lately, I found a few short stories I just couldn’t help but share.

Straight from the AP, “Authorities believe a Washington [50-year-old Roy Messenger] was killed by accidentally urinating on a downed power line after a car crash.”

According to the article from The Seattle Times’ Web site, authorities believed Messenger was not seriously injured from the crash.

“[Grays Harbor County sheriff’s Deputy Dave] Pimentel says Messenger apparently urinated into a roadside ditch but didn’t see the live wire. The urine stream likely served as a conductor, allowing the electricity to reach his body.”

I thought “hand-o-prompters,” hypocritical vacations and death by urinating electrocution was ridiculous until I saw this simple story about a glaring first amendment rights violation.

“A Mississippi high school faces a lawsuit over its decision to cancel its prom rather than allow a lesbian high school student to attend with her girlfriend,” reported CNN.com.

Not that Mississippi needs any more discrimination in their history, but this is just a little too ridiculous for the 21st century.

According to the article, “At the center of the lawsuit is a memorandum from the school to students, dated February 5, which states that prom dates must be of the opposite sex.”

“In a statement released Wednesday, the county’s board of education said that, ‘Due to the distractions to the educational process caused by recent events, the Itawamba County School District has decided to not host a prom at Itawamba Agricultural High School this year,’” the article states.

Wow. I just couldn’t believe it. When I was in high school, not that long ago, in the South, I went with two friends, of the same sex. No one thought anything of it, and we had a prom.

We weren’t the only group of girls with “dates” who weren’t of the opposite sex. How long is it going to take to recognize that we are all different and it’s OK? I guess Mississippi just likes to take its time on these things.