Jess Nobert | Senior Writer

Like most of us right before spring break, the past week has been just as busy. The Winter Olympics, “The Bachelor” and the beer bet across the border are a few of the highlights of this week.

The first story I came across as ridiculous is one most everyone will appreciate. You’ve probably heard the song “You’re So Vain” by Carly Simon. And like everyone else whose head it got stuck in, I’m sure you’ve always wondered who the song is about?

According to the story on CNN.com, “The man’s first name is David,” she told CNNRadio, “but it could be one of many Davids.”

The story went on to tell of which David is supposed to be the one who is so vain, but Simon’s agent has said it is not record executive David Geffen, who was in charge of Simon’s record label at the time. The ridiculous part, as Simon said no matter who it is, she is still amused the song is so perplexing and is still leaving people curious after almost 40 years. As she told CNN.com in 2002, “It amuses me that I’m still being asked.”

As of press time Monday, March 1, the season finale of “The Bachelor” had yet to air. But in reality, it doesn’t matter which one he picked. The rumor going around before the show was he might choose no one, according to a USA Today story.

I’ve never been much of one for cheesy matchmaking shows, so naturally, I’ve never actually watched “The Bachelor.” Isn’t the point for him to meet a girl, fall in love and live happily ever after?

So far, that hasn’t really been the case for many of the couples, except for Jason Mesnick and Molly Malaney, who just got married over the weekend. I only know this because of the story on UsMagazine.com.

The ridiculousness of this story is whether he will give out a rose at all. Isn’t that the whole point of the show? For him to find “love” and give her the last rose and live happily ever after only to break up six weeks later and end up on the cover of Star magazine?

No matter what happens, I’m sure it will be fine. Fans will talk about it for a few weeks, then get back to the rest of the world.

Speaking of the world, remember how for the last two weeks, nothing has been on NBC other than those sports? Well, apparently, since Russia didn’t do so hot, the president is calling for some people to quit their jobs over it.

Though he didn’t mention any names, “Russia President Dmitry Medvedev demanded Monday that sports officials step down over the country’s dismal performance at the Winter Olympics in Vancouver,” according to ESPN.com’s Vancouver 2010 Web site.

In televised comments, Medvedev said if those responsible for preparing the athletes don’t resign, then the decision will be made for them.

The article went on to say Russia has never finished out of the top five in medal standings until now. And as for the Soviets from 1956 to 1988, they were on top all but twice.

“Several Russian politicians have called for Vitaly Mutko, who was appointed sports minister in May 2008, to step down,” according to the article.

We all know the Russians didn’t do so hot in hockey either, but since the gold medal game was between the U.S. and Canada, the leaders of the two nations placed a friendly bet on the contest.

President Barack Obama and Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper bet a case of beer on the game. Obviously, Obama lost the bet, like I did with my Canadian friends.

According to the AP,

“White House spokesman Robert Gibbs said President Barack Obama had a case of Yuengling riding on the game.”

Harper wagered 24 bottles of Molson. The beer battle pitted Canada’s oldest brewery against the oldest beer maker in the United States.

There was no word on where the cross-border exchange would occur. Though I didn’t bet a case of beer — that would be insane since it’s so expensive in Sweden — we did bet if the U.S. won, in honor of the other Jack Johnson, the Canadians would make banana pancakes. But since they were the victors, I had to sing “O Canada” when their team got their gold medals.

By Jess Nobert | Senior Staff Writer

The Olympic Games were in full swing over the last week, and so was the rest of the world. I watched the U.S. win, and caught a few other interesting stories, too.

The day was Sunday. It was Feb. 21; the day the U.S. Olympic hockey team beat Canada. Facebook and Twitter were flooded with comments of the victory, and everyone cared about hockey.

Then it was Wednesday, and no one cared again. Ridiculous. As a fan of the game, even if the watching part isn’t always by my own free will, I was shocked to see how many closet, er, bandwagon fans were out there.

This was one of the great events of the games, and it’s great everyone wanted to watch and share in their two weeks of American pride, but I think it’s ridiculous how everyone went crazy when most probably don’t know three guys who were on the ice during that contest, on either team.

I watched the game with one of my Canadian friends, it was on in the middle of the night in Sweden, and we were both excited because we know how great the players are who were competing. But the difference is we both watch and care about it outside of the Olympics.

But while everyone has been up in the air about the international sport contests, NASA has been working out ways for regular people to go to space. Well, after they let the scientists go, and it’s not going to be cheap.

According to the article on Discovery.com, “Even at $200,000 a ticket, the lines for a suborbital ride into space may soon be growing longer.

The U.S. government is proposing to spend $75 million over the next five years to send science experiments — and presumably scientists — into space.” Granted this has been going on for a few days longer than the Olympics, it’s a pretty big deal if you ask me.

But how ridiculous is this? Remember back when Lance Bass was going to go to space with the Russians? Yeah, it didn’t happen. Oh, Bass is the cute one from *NSYNC who isn’t Justin Timberlake.

My guess is, the first, or maybe second, person in line for these tickets is Tiger Woods. His press conference last week sure was out of this world. He started off in a dramatic Obama-like fashion, speaking slow for emphasis, and he failed at that.

Tiger, I don’t see a career in public speaking in your future. Stick to golf. He went on about how he cheated and how it’s all between his wife Elin, who is Swedish, and himself. Don’t follow his kids to school, and leave his family alone.

But why is his 2-year-old in school? I didn’t think kids had to start that until at least 4 years old. But don’t worry, I’m leaving the kids out of it.

Now that I’ve got you thinking Sweden, I’ve been kind of torn during these games when it comes down to whom I’m cheering for.

Usually, if it’s the U.S. competing, that’s a given. Then I usually pick Canada and Japan because those countries are a “part of my heritage,” but now I have this Nordic country to think about.

So when there’s no skiing or hockey, I usually end up with curling on TV. It’s not a very common sport in the States, but l figured since the U.S. has a team, maybe I can learn a little about it.

So I Googled it, and read up, and started watching. It’s hard, to use a term from the sport, to understand here because all the commentary is in Swedish, but when they yell, it still comes out in English pretty much regardless of their home country.

What I don’t get, however, is how is this a sport? It’s a guy, or woman, throwing a rock down a sheet of ice and two others scrubbing with brooms to make it go faster, slower or take a turn.

Then a fourth team member tries to keep it in the Target logo, and at the same time, try to knock out the other team’s rocks.
I don’t get how curling is a sport, much less in the Olympics, especially when women’s softball has been eliminated from the summer contest. It just seems ridiculous to me .

Jess Nobert | Senior Writer

I hope these snow days aren’t going to waste and everyone has a chance to catch up on homework and online discussion boards. I know that’s what I would be doing if I were there. Well, let’s be honest, I’d probably be hanging out in my room watching TiVo or sleeping.

But while APSU was closed, again, I made sure to catch up on my ridiculous news.

The top story of my week comes from a CBS/New York Times poll about the “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” policy. According to the Huffington Post, “Apparently, some 15 percent of Americans don’t know that ‘gay men and lesbians’ are homosexuals.”

“It turns out that 42 percent of Americans oppose allowing ‘homosexuals’ to serve openly in the military, but only 28 percent oppose allowing ‘gay men and lesbians’ to serve openly,” according to Geoffrey R. Stone, the author of the story.

Either way, that’s still the majority of people who agree to “allow” these citizens to serve in their nation’s military if they choose. I guarantee a few more people would be willing to sign up if they could be themselves.

Speaking of people, I hope your Toyota isn’t on the recall list. Granted, even though I see Toyotas almost every day, their accelerators aren’t sticking and killing people.

What’s the deal with this massive recall? It’s actually the largest recall in history. Really? I got that one from the AP. But this stuff happens. Sure, the tragic side of the recall isn’t ideal, but cars are machines, and they aren’t perfect.

Here’s the best part. Toyota must not be selling many cars here lately because I just saw a story from Reuters. Toyota is offering up to $2,000 in cash and rebates to buyers if they get a new car from them.

Talk about buying your way into the hearts of America. I just can’t be persuaded with cash money when people are dying. Get with it, Toyota, and make your cars safer.

As far as I can tell, traveling doesn’t sound so luxurious by car or plane these days, especially if you ask Kevin Smith, the famous director. According to a story from the Los Angeles Times, Smith was asked to deplane from his Southwest after he was already seated because he is too fat.

Smith admits he knows he is overweight but said, “I broke no regulation, offered no safety risk.”

According to the article, “Southwest is one of many airlines that require overweight customers to purchase two seats if they cannot comfortably fit into one seat. The airline determines this in part based on a passenger’s ability to lower both armrests while sitting on the plane. Smith insisted he could lower both armrests.”

But it gets better, since Smith was tweeting about his experience, Southwest made sure to apologize via Twitter, too. “Our apology to @ThatKevinSmith and more details regarding the events from last night …” The tweet was complete with a link to the airline’s blog which was titled, “Not So Silent Bob.”

Really? I hope he got a letter and a substantial amount of flight vouchers for his troubles. But wait, he got a $100 voucher and allegedly a phone call to accompany it.

Good job, Southwest. Way to alienate a few good people with this policy. I know we all joke about how large people should have to purchase a second seat, but this is ridiculous. And the fact that it’s been in place for 25 years, even worse.

Aside from travels, cars and gay people, I have very few things that come close to their ridiculousness this week. One more time on the snow, and I hope this is the last time.

What is this now, four snow days (as of press time Monday, Feb. 15)? I have Facebook, like many students, and I have never seen such activity as I have the last few days. So many people questioning the judgment of the university and safety of travels. Why?

Usually, on the first day of school, professors tell students about the attendance policy and one of those details involves inclement weather. If you can’t drive to school because of bad weather when the school is open, they are usually more concerned with your safety than your attendance. Obviously this is usually followed by a “don’t-abuse-this” speech.

If you can’t drive to school because your neighborhood isn’t plowed, then don’t. But don’t take it out on the university. Write a letter to the editor or even better, contact the City of Clarksville about getting their act together to clear the roads.

It’s no one’s fault the snow is on the ground. And if you want to go to school that badly, but the roads aren’t clear, get some snow tires.

I’ll close with everyone’s favorite topic, the Vancouver Olympic Games. I just know everyone has been glued to their TVs since the opening ceremonies. In case you couldn’t tell, that was my cynicism coming out.

I know Michael Phelps isn’t in this one, but these are the best athletes in our country.
Sure, Alpine skiing isn’t so popular in Clarksville, but let’s try to stick with these great athletes for the two weeks or so of the games. You never know, one day you might meet one of them and they will end up your hero.

By Jess Nobert | Senior Writer

Since last week was a certified slow news week in my world, I thought it would only be fitting to come back this week with a few more stories than usual.

Twitter took some heat last week from George Packer, a writer at The New York Times, who basically said Twitter “is an image from information hell.”

Well, I guess it’s safe to say Packer doesn’t tweet? It’s not just that this writer expresses his desire to yell “stop” every time he hears about Twitter, it’s that this story was re-tweeted over 700 times, and that’s how everyone heard about it – including myself. I guess if you can’t embrace social networking, you should just expect to be the subject of laughter across these types of media.

Which brings me to my next story. Last week, Facebook.com celebrated six wonderful years on the Web. I, as many of my peers, have been writing on walls for over four years, and we have seen many designs and layouts come and go throughout those few short years. But with this B-day, also came some major Heidi Montag-esque face-lifting.

The Facebook, as it was originally called, will try to tie in the search feature a little tighter to the interface, but many things seem to still work the same. Of course, as of press time, mine had not switched, but I have caught a glimpse of my neighbor’s new page, and I’ve read the complaints and compliments in my own news feed.

When it happens to you – and it will happen to you – just take a deep breath and know this: many of us have been facebooking for years and a change is about as consistent as the weather in Clarksville; you just can’t prepare for it.

A good friend of mine is a solid source for news, and though her name isn’t Twitter or Facebook, Google, CNN or the AP, I still take a lot of what she has to say as if it will impact my life. But when she sends me the same stories I have just read on Twitter or any of the above mentioned news sources, I know she’s good for me. I was just about to send the story about how former Bank of America CEO Ken Lewis was being indicted on civil charges following what the New York Attorney General called “misleading investors about Merrill Lynch before [Bank of America] acquired it.”

According to the article from the Huffington Post, “Bank of America has been accused of failing to properly disclose losses at Merrill Lynch and bonuses paid to investment bank employees before the deal closed.” But here’s what gets me. Last year, the government bailed out the bank with tax payers’ money and they are still making the same kind of poor choices. But that’s not the worst part. They still have all those funds, and I can’t log into my online banking. Like I asked the bank representative after they started charging me for my free Keep the Change account, did we not give them enough bail out money to keep these things from happening? And when is all of this going to be over?

I would rather know that people are being denied for home loans rightfully instead of hearing any more about how these executives have denied our rights to a fair checking account because all they care about is getting that little green piece of paper at the end of the day: your dollar. I cannot, however, say I was surprised when I heard that story, but it just made me more sure of my decision to change banks as soon as I get home.

Though this last news isn’t about the bank, it might be the most ridiculous story I’ve come across in a long time. 13 year-old David Sills, a middle school QB in Delaware, committed to play college football at USC. (Cue Land Kiffin bashing now…) According to David, he has always “dreamed of going to school at USC.” Seriously? How can this kid in the 7th grade know where he wants to go to college? And better yet, how are he and Kiffin so confident this little guy is even going to score high enough on his SAT and in his high school classes to even get in?

When I was 13, I wanted to be a doctor. At 14, I thought I wanted to go to UT. At 15, I had no clue what I wanted to do, and it wasn’t until I was almost 17 that I even found APSU, where I obviously chose not to pursue a career in medicine. So how can this kid be so set? I guess we will really find out in 2015, as the article from ESPN.com says, when he can actually sign his letter of intent.

So after my ridiculousness from your side of the world, I will share a little story from mine. Over the weekend, one of my Canadian friends and I went for a hike up the mountain behind our residence. Now, I would call it by what it really is, a hill, but that makes it sound too wimpy. When it is covered by three feet of snow, I think it can be classified as a mountain, even if it is just temporarily.

On our walk back down we found a clear trail; we were almost back to our dorm when we saw a little blue car on the road. There were two others behind it, but this one seemed to be having a little trouble. It wasn’t moving, and after a minute of sitting there, the cars behind backed down the hill and went around.

This little blue car – I’d tell the make and model, but it’s European and I’m still learning those – is just stuck on the road. The driver tries to accelerate, but no luck; it just spins on the snow. Then a few more cars come up and go around. But then comes the bus. Oh, the bus. Now the bus is a little bigger than the cars that came up and around before so the driver just pulls up behind and waits. Not long after, my friend and I are crossing the street, but we turn back to see what came next.

The driver opened the door and people got exited bus. They walked up to the car and opened the door. I guess they wanted to help, because not long after, a few people hopped out of the car and more off the bus and helped to push the blue obstacle off the road. Here’s what gets me. If you think you might have some trouble driving on the snow and ice covered roads, get some snow tires, or better yet, just stay home.