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Campus too cold for ladybugs to bother infesting

**The Rotten Peay is not to be taken seriously. Everything said is satire and is 100 percent guaranteed to be a joke.**

The two days spent on campus on the cusp of the snow apocalypse saw a marked decrease in the presence of ladybugs.

The numbers drastically decreased from the fall 2015 semester. APSU witnessed a migration of thousands of the red insects to just inside the windows and randomly smooshed inside textbooks.

On Tuesday, Jan. 19, there were barely two ladybugs to rub together.

“Yeah, I only saw a couple of [the bugs] inside my classroom this morning,” said one student. “I only noticed because one all of a sudden flew at my face, the jerk.”

According to the UK Safari website, ladybugs hibernate during the winter because their food supplies have dried up. They gather together in masses under tree barks or brush, sometimes numbering in the thousands.

Some, however, decide to come into warm buildings where there’s no food because they have absolutely no common sense.

“I read somewhere that masses of ladybugs go to Florida because it’s, like, 80 degrees there,” said another student. “I bet they’re down there partying right now while I slip on ice and fight some guy for bread even though I was there first and totally should not have gotten kicked out of the store.”

One student had more ominous ideas about the disappearance of the ladybugs.

“You see it in all the movies, man,” the student said. “[The ladybugs] act like they’re running, but they’re really just waiting for their chance to strike. Well, I’ll be ready.”

The student would not elaborate on his preparations.

With the layers of ice and snow that Clarksville and the surrounding areas find themselves under, a ladybug comeback is unlikely. Those who find their homes invaded by the insects should use natural pest control because there is little air circulation during the winter.

About Lauren Cottle

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