The All State

By NICK OLINGER
Staff Writer

Tennessee Board of Regents is finalizing the construction project involving finishing the gravel pit in the UC, constructing a three-room meeting area.

According to the APSU website, this project was not estimated to be finished until the summer.

The area was converted into a division of three rooms consistent in size with the meeting rooms on the third floor of the UC.

“The project was budgeted for $675,000 but was completed for $356,190. This included all architectural, engineering, plan prep, and project management,” said Andy Kean, University Facilities director.

Kean said when the UC was built in 2001, APSU did not have the resources or a plan for what to do with the basement. He said since enrollment has grown substantially over the past three years, demands for meeting rooms have increased.

He said these rooms have much more eminent design and are more flexible than the meeting rooms on the third floor. The new rooms have tiled floors instead of carpeted rooms.

Kean said the space currently does not have any audio/visual equipment or furniture but should be furnished and accessible for meetings by the summer.

“I think everyone will be very pleased with the completion of the project,” Kean said.

I really like all the plants and beautiful flowers and everything green. And I like the green toilets that save water and everything that is eco-friendly in all the buildings.”
— Michellle Turner, sophomore nursing major

More activities on campus, more fraternity things to do and more things to do. A lot of college students are lounging more than they are being active and APSU is trying to get them away from lounging.”
— Ladarius Davis, business management major

A negative is parking; there is none of it after 9 a.m. and most of it is packed. And if you manage to find a spot, you have to fight others or get in an argument and it is aggravating.”
— Nickolaus Willis, junior chemistry major

I really like the planting of the flowers and noticing the green on the campus and seeing the effects and changes on the environment.”
— Heather Yeaney, sophomore psychology major

Definitely the flowers they are placing everywhere. I think it opens people’s eyes, like when they are walking around the campus there is actually color instead of a dull campus.”
— Ariel Griffith, freshman pediatric nursing major

Designated smoking areas; it conflicts because people still walk across campus still smoking, which still affects the students that don’t smoke.”
— Kenneth Brown, graduate health care specialization

Meeting Chris Killian for the first time is an experience that will likely be unforgettable.

Killian, an English graduate student, has traveled the continental United States in order to spread laughter and cheer. However, this is something that does not just happen when he is on stage.

As I talked to Killian, I felt a sense of light-heartedness and calmness that only comes from hanging out with a truly laid-back soul.

Killian has already made a name for himself in his short career. In the past, he has shared the stage with comedians like Michael Myes, Tom Green, John Caparulo, Jarrod Harris, Jon Reep, John Heffron and Greg Giraldo.

Currently Killian is getting ready to go on the road again to W. Va. and Fla. while also preparing for an upcoming spot on the Bob and Tom show this summer.

Comedian Killer Beaz claimed Killian to be “very funny and a class act,” while Dave Amerman, VH1 reality TV star, said that “Chris is sharp. The funniest stand-up comedian routine I’ve ever seen.”

As a graduate student, Killian manages a very busy schedule, including spending time with his son, attending classes and touring America. Fortunately for The All State, he was able to take a few minutes to share some of the memories related to both his life at APSU and his life on the road.

Tangelia Cannon: Why did you choose to come to APSU?

Chris Killian: My little brother was coming to APSU about the same time I was finishing with massage therapy. That’s right, I said “massage therapy,” ladies. He said I was too smart to rub naked people for a living (not to offend any would-be masseuses out there), so I should apply to school with him. So on a whim, I did, and then I got accepted. That’s the whole boring story.

TC: How long have you been at APSU?

CK: About six years now, but I really stopped counting after four, so who knows. I kind of feel like the Van Wilder of APSU, except I’m not as cool, and my abs aren’t as hot, and I don’t throw awesome parties. In a way, I guess I’m nothing like the Van Wilder of APSU, except I’m old and won’t leave.

TC: When did you first begin experimenting with comedy?

CK: Maybe around two years ago was when I started bombing at open mics in Nashville.

TC: What made you decide to make a career as a comedian?

CK: When I realized it paid more than being a teacher. God bless teachers.

TC: How has APSU affected your career in comedy?

CK: Location, location. That means it hasn’t.

TC: What did your family and friends think when you told them that you wanted to do comedy professionally?

CK: Considering what I used to do, which was sell smack to kids in orphanages, I think they’re all okay with me doing comedy.

TC: What was the best piece of advice you ever got about the entertainment industry?

CK: Listen to your gut. Don’t listen to anyone’s advice. Except for that advice.

TC: Whom, in the entertainment world, do you look up to? Why?

CK: There are tons of comics I look up to. Everyone I have met and hung out with has been super cool, even the famous ones. Way too many to name.
TC: What is your earliest memory of being a comedian, or telling a joke as a comedian as a child?

CK: The first time I attempted stand-up comedy, I just remember talking into a microphone to a room full of maybe 15 people and eliciting no response. No uproarious laughter, no booing — just a blank set of faces in the darkness looking at me with pity. Now that I think about it, it was eerily similar to the first time I had sex, too.

TC: What came first, the comedy or the music?

CK: The music definitely came first. I started writing joke songs just to make some friends laugh and I never, ever imagined it would turn into this.

TC: Why did you decide to combine the two?

CK: Mainly because I’m lazy.

TC: Which do you like better, singing or comedy?

CK: I like both. I seriously have the best job in the world. I travel, can drink on the job, and help people forget about their problems by laughing at my problems. It’s a dream job.

TC: Did anyone ever put you down or tell you that you were not good? If so, how did this affect you? What did you do?

CK: Oh yeah. The first night I showed up to an open mic I had my guitar with me to play a joke-song and afterwards, this dickhole comic came up to me and said, “This is stand-up comedy. We tell jokes. Don’t bring that crap here again.” I was a newcomer so I abandoned my guitar for a little while, but his whole comment really peeved me for a long time. Comedy, to me, is anything that makes someone laugh, so I eventually picked the guitar back up and then I punched that guy in the face (in my mind) and decided to do my thang (sic). You’ll be happy to know that the bad-advice comic has since gained a lot of weight and found no success whatsoever. Maybe it won’t make you happy to know that. Maybe it just makes me happy, but it does. Is that catty of me?

TC: When/how did you realize that you were good?

CK: By good, do you mean awesome? If so, then I guess I’d have to say I’ve always had a feeling.
TC: Where was the first place you performed?

CK: My first paid gig was at the South Street Comedy Club in Jackson, Tenn.

TC: What was the first joke you told to a crowd?

CK: I don’t remember, but I’m sure it was racist.

TC: What is your favorite joke to tell?

CK: Any joke that doesn’t bomb.

TC: What inspires you to create your material?

CK: My material is basically a series of FML moments that I think other people can relate to, and if not relate to, then at least laugh at.

TC: Have you ever used things about APSU to create material for your comedy?

CK: Not APSU directly, but crazy people, like ex-girlfriends, that I met at Austin Peay … ? Maybe.

TC: Do you ever get nervous before you’re perform/tell a joke?

CK: I used to, but then I realized a hundred years from now everyone will be dead and nothing I say will matter, and that tends to take off a lot of pressure.

TC: Have you ever had a bad experience or audience?
CK: Early on I did. But I find that was more of a problem of me not being funny rather than the audience being bad. If someone knows what they’re doing, they can get any audience to listen, especially if the audience is drunk.

TC: Where all have you traveled to perform?

CK: A lot of places.

TC: Where is your favorite place to perform? Why?

CK: I really have a lot of clubs that are just a hoot to perform in.

TC: If someone wanted to get into the field of entertainment, what advice would you give them?

CK: Listen to your gut. Don’t listen to anyone’s advice. Except for that advice. Seriously, after that advice right there, cease all advice listening.

To find more out about Chris Killian and his comedy, visit www.ckcomedy.com and www.facebook.com/ckcomedy. F

By MARLON SCOTT
Senior Staff Writer

Another Lady Govs sports team has taken the Ohio Valley Conference Tournament Championship and earned an automatic bid to the NCAA Tournament. This time, however, these Lady Govs are carrying rackets.

After failing to make the cut to play in the OVC Tournament last season, the Lady Govs tennis team defeated Eastern Kentucky 4-2, Sunday, April 18, to capture the school’s fourth OVC tennis championship in its history. It is the first since 1989.

In addition to blazing a trail straight to the NCAA Tournament with red hot rackets, the Lady Govs earned several conference awards.

Leading the team to this season’s dramatic turnaround, first year Head Coach Malik Tabet was named OVC Co-Coach of the Year with Jacksonville State Head Coach Steve Bailey. According to APSU Sports Information, Tabet expected no less from his team.

“I always tell my players that when you get to college, your goal should be to leave a print into your program. To be able to make the conference tournament and be leaders on the team, they have done that,” Tabet said.

Sophomore Vanja Tomic was named OVC Player of the Year. She is the seventh woman to earn the honor for APSU.

Against Eastern Kentucky, Tomic dominated like she has done all year. She defeated her opponent in singles in straight sets to give the team one point. The win was her 17th in a row. Her overall record improved to 18-2 and she is still undefeated, 9-0, in conference play.

In addition to singles play, Tomic played with senior Mariana Pagan in doubles. Together they have won 12 straight matches. They have lost only one conference match, 8-1. Their team along with the team of Caroline Weikard and senior Michelle Liew, earned the doubles points for the team against EKU.

Liew and Pagan were selected to the All-OVC Second-Team. Tomic and Weikard were selected to the first-team. Weikard was also named Freshman of the Year. Weikard has been impressive this season and has won 12 straight before playing in singles against EKU. After her senior teammate Yuki Nakamura added another point to the teams total with her singles win, the Lady Govs needed only one more point to defeat EKU and win the championship.

Weikard lost her opening set in singles but recovered well to take the second. She was leading in the third set when she developed cramps. Her opponent, Jessica Albuquerque, took advantage and quickly made it a 6-5 score. However, Weikard made a stand and earned the championship point by defeating Albuquerque. The win also kept Weikard undefeated in the conference, 9-0.

“[The match] was full of ups and downs. I was exhausted and really tired,” Weikard said. “All the [Govs tennis team] supporting me helped me a lot. I had to fight and that’s what I did.”

The result of Weikard’s fight was the team holding the trophy that declares the Lady Govs the best in the OVC.

“I told our players to be careful and stick to what you do well. This is what you play for all year. When you carry that trophy, it makes it all worth while,” Tabet said. “I’m very excited that we have been able to put a print in this conference, and we’re going to build on it.”

The 2010 NCAA Division I Women’s Tennis Championships begin Friday, May 14.

EDITOR’S NOTE: The selection announcement will be made Tuesday, May 4.

There seems to be quite a few ridiculous stories related to air travel lately.

Last week there was a guy in LAX International Airport who decided he didn’t really need secondary screening of his luggage and just went on his way through the terminal.

TSA agents must have turned their backs for quite a while to let him just book through, especially since they took so long to find him.

According to the story on CNN.com, all the passengers in the terminal were told to stop where they were and just wait. All the air traffic was halted from the terminals, too, so no one missed their flight.

I just don’t get it. How can a passenger just get away like that? I know LAX is a pretty busy place, but I’ve never seen it so packed that someone can just disappear.

And then there was the Qatari diplomat who decided it was a good idea to smoke in the airplane bathroom. He was on a flight from Washington, D.C. to Denver on business and apparently just couldn’t take it anymore. According to the story from CNN, he was in the lavatory for an extended period of time before they busted him.

Airline employees got a little freaked out because “initial reports that he may have attempted to set a shoe on fire — a report that may have stemmed from what one U.S. official called an ‘unfortunate comment’ by the diplomat,” according to the article. Luckily, he was just lighting up and nothing more. Once the flight landed, they let him go and he got to go on with his business.

It’s getting so ridiculous these days to fly. Everyone gets profiled for something it seems and most of us lose out.

When I come home next month, I can only bring one carry on bag thanks to the kid who thought it was good idea to light his shorts on fire. It’s almost not worth the hassle for people to travel anymore. If there were still reliable boats and it were still cool, I’d take a cruise back to the States then catch a train back to the west coast.

I’ve been trying a little harder to follow the news lately. When I’m not following the air travel updates, I read the other news.

But this next story really got my attention. A mother from Bedford County, Tenn. adopted a 7-year-old Russian boy, brought him home, and then sent him back to Russia, according to CNN.

The adoptive mother, Torry Hansen, said the child showed violent behavior and Russian officials didn’t warn her about it. What if they had? Would she have just not taken him because of the challenge? Children born to their parents don’t get to just go back when they cause trouble, why does this get to be different?

Now that it looks like all I did was read CNN this week, I’ve got a few recommended to me by friends.

Last week I got a story from a friend about a guy who got a parking ticket. We all know someone who has gotten one, maybe even on campus. But this guy did it up good. He wasn’t even parked for a minute when the cop started writing him up.

The guy decided to write the City of Melbourne a letter stating why he thought he shouldn’t have to pay for the ticket. Since it was clearly ridiculous he got it to begin with as he only parked, went to the trunk to get his money for the meter then noticed the parking officer.

I guess the city agreed with the man and withdrew his ticket. The story is on the Huffington Post website. And you can read both letters and see the ticket.

And I guess my Facebook stalking has gotten pretty good lately. I wasn’t even tagged in a photo, nor was it shared with me, but there was a comment on a picture of ExtenZe Male Enhancement drinks and one comment said I should write about it.

Well, I am. It’s one thing to have these “supplements” to enhance, um, parts. But it’s something completely new to make it just as easily attainable as a buzz.

Put it in a can, take a few sips and enjoy the night? Well, I think that’s what they’re going for. I wanted to do a little research on the product before ripping its ridiculousness, but the website that bears the products name has no information beyond the home page.

It does, however, tell the drink’s tag line: “Drink … enjoy … and enjoy again.”

By MARLON SCOTT
Senior Staff Writer

Van Stokes, the voice of APSU baseball on WVRY 105.1 FM, called Saturday, April 17, “Sweep Saturday” because every Ohio Valley Conference baseball team who hosted a doubleheader that day swept their opponents 2-0 — every team except the Govs.

On Saturday, April 17, the Govs hosted the Jacksonville State Gamecocks. They split the doubleheader and dropped the last game Sunday, April 18, to lose the three-game conference series (5-6, 4-2 and 1-3). The Govs have lost three straight conference series and are now only one game above .500.

The Govs (18-17, 4-7 OVC) had Gamecock starting pitcher Jordan Beistline rechecking his stuff after they opened with three back-to-back hits. Senior designated hitter Matt Kole made the third hit. He cranked a shot into right centerfield for a 2 RBI triple. The Govs finished their first at bat with a four-run lead from six hits.

Govs senior pitcher Ricky Marshall helped the Govs maintain the lead until the seventh inning. After hitting the Gamecocks first batter with a pitch and walking the second batter, senior pitcher Zach Gerler replaced Marshall. The Gamecocks jumped on the pitching change.

The first batter Gerler faced hit an RBI single and the next scored on a walk. Gerler stayed in trouble, eventually loading the bases with only one out. After another RBI single hit by Gamecock Dani Anderson, Gerler was replaced on the mound by junior pitcher Dylan Ray.

The Gamecocks finished the inning with the lead, scoring five runs on two hits. Todd Hornsby earned the save allowing no runs and only two hits in the last two innings. Tanner Freshour (5-1) picked up the win. The Govs produced 13 hits in the game, but not enough runs late to get the win. Gerler (2-3) was tagged with the loss. An error by the Govs in game two gave the Gamecocks the first run of the game in the second inning. However, it was the Govs’ turn to come from behind. They took the lead with three runs in the third inning.

Kole earned his third RBI for the day with a single into left field with two men on base. Later senior outfielder Adam Browett brought in Kole and another runner with a shot into right field.

Starting pitcher Ryne Harper held the Gamecocks back until the beginning of the fifth inning. After he allowed one run to make the score 3-2, he was replaced by freshman pitcher Matt Marsh. Marsh closed the inning without any more runs.

Errors by the Gamecocks in the sixth inning helped the Govs pad the lead to 4-2. Solid pitching, first by sophomore left hander Jeremy Dobbs and then by Gerler, sealed the win for the Govs.

Harper (4-2) earned the win allowing only two runs (one earned) on five hits in 4.2 innings of work. Gerler earned his sixth save of the season, while Kole finished the day batting 5-for-8 with 3 RBIs.

Game three was a pitching duel, as both teams combined for only 11 total hits. However, it was the hits on the Gamecocks side that produced runs, and consequently the Govs lost the game 3-1.

The Govs’ lone run came in the fourth inning. Senior outfielder Jared Delong hit a lead off single, then advanced to third base on a fielding error. Kole continued to produce and earned his fourth RBI in the series with a single down the left field line that brought Delong home. Kole batted 3-for-4 in the game with one RBI.

Gamecock pitcher Austin Lucas (2-0) allowed the only run (unearned) from five hits with one walk and five strikeouts. He picked up the win after throwing for 6.2 innings. Govs’ senior left-hander Stephen Huff (3-4) added the loss to his stats. He picked up two earned runs from three hits, walked four and struck out four. The Gamecocks scored in the third, sixth and ninth innings.

The Govs will continue to play at home this weekend with a three-game series against SIU Edwardsville beginning Saturday, April 24, and a single game against Vanderbilt University on Tuesday, April 27.