The All State

By Jess Norbert | Chief Copy Editor

Last week was no stranger to ridiculous news. Between Obama’s school address and the California station fire, people did not fail to, well, fail.

As you read this, keep in mind the school address was scheduled for after press time, so things may have changed. President Barack Obama addressed students last Tuesday, kindergarten to sixth grade, I believe, to encourage them to stay in school, and value the importance of education.

Before any word was spoken, parents and extremists started throwing a fit over “Obama getting to them while they’re young,” I’m sure to push his “socialist” agenda. I read an article a friend posted on Facebook about how five states were going to refuse to show the address all together. Among those states was Illinois, Obama’s home state.

No matter how you feel politically, he is still the president. If George W. Bush had suggested this, those same protesters would be so excited to hear Dubya was going to be in school with their kids.

Guess what: George H.W. Bush addressed school children back in his day, and you know what the democrats’ problem was? Cost. There are schools saying students can be excused from the address if they bring a note from home.

There is a Facebook group, according to NBC Nightly News, that is encouraging parents to call their kids in sick. Really?

In local news, why does Austin’s never have anything you want? If the menu says milkshake, we should all be able to get one. If they don’t have it, they need to order it. It’s getting out of hand. I talked to someone the other day that said the entire time they’ve been in school, Austin’s has not had shakes. It’s been three years for her. I know it’s new, but I’m willing to put money down that says we won’t have these kinds of problems at Blondie’s.

The station fire in Los Angeles County was started by arson. It has already been dubbed the largest fire in county history, and it is still burning. I saw an article headline saying officials were going to try to bring up homicide charges on the people or person who started it. Good luck, arsonist. You’re going to need it.

I’m not even going to say anymore about it after this week, or at least I’ll try, but this whole swine flu freak out? Really?

Finally, most of my close friends are well aware of my love for two things: baseball and politics. Bringing the two together, however, not always a wise choice. According to the ticker on ESPNews last week, and a quick Google search, Curt Schilling is considering running for the seat vacated after Ted Kennedy’s death.

Really Schilling? We all know he has experience in congress after his steroids allegation hearings, but to get paid to hang out? Perhaps he should pull a Brett Favre and un-retire from baseball for a season.

By Jessica Norbert | Chief Copy Editor

I hope this first week of school is off to a great start for everyone. I’m not going to waste much time getting into the routine this time.

Luckily for all of us, the summer was not lacking in ridiculous news. I think we can all agree on the worst story of the season: Michael Jackson. Though I spent my summer in the big city and it was on the local news also, I honestly felt like it was never going to end. And once I left to come back to school, it was still a big deal.

Every time we changed the channel these last two months, it seemed like the only thing anyone was talking about was him. I even went on vacation, and walking around another city, it was still playing on car stereos. It seemed I could not escape.

I hope now that I’m back in Clarksville, perhaps I have finally freed myself from Michael.
Next, a very close second to the King of Pop, come Jon and Kate Gosselin. If I had a penny for every tabloid cover I saw either of them on, I would have a lot of pennies. Though I do find some of the things they do on their show entertaining, I don’t really care much about all of Jon’s mid-life crises or his mistresses. Next time I see “Coming up after the commercial, an interview with Jon’s most recent heartbreak …” I’m changing the channel, never to watch the show again.

I hope the kids can make it out of this one OK, but then again, like Jon says, “One day my kids are going to Google me, and I’m going to have to explain myself.” That’s right, Jon, you should have thought about that one a few weeks earlier.

Now a little bit for the guys: football. So Michael Vick is with the Eagles now. Like I said to some of my guy friends, there was no way the Browns were going to let him on their team because their mascot would run for the hills.

Then there’s Brett Favre. I’m just going to call it the Michael Jordan plan. He retires, then comes back, then retires, and then is back again? At least he didn’t try to play another sport in the middle of it all. And to the Vikings of all teams, I guess only the season will tell the full story.

I try to keep my political opinion out my work, but this is one time I cannot let it go unwritten. Please, people, it is not socialized medicine. They’re looking to add a public option for those who do not have insurance.

They aren’t going to kill grandma and they aren’t going to make you wait six months for an X-ray.
Before you make a truly final decision on how you feel about this proposal, please research from places other than Fox News.

Having said all that, welcome back. Best wishes for the semester to all of you.

– Jess Nobert, Chief Copy Editor