3967976386_4ea08e263e_oSony Pictures released its new blockbuster hopeful “2012” Friday, Nov. 13. An appropriate choice for a release date, is it not? I’m sure all superstitious people were “quaking” in their boots.

The movie is based on the predictions made by both the Mayans and Nostradamus that the end of the world will occur on Dec. 21, 2012. That seems awfully specific.

It presents an apocalyptic disaster complete with a biblical flood and arks. Plus you get to see John Cusack evade imminent danger by a split second nearly 20 times. He can apparently outrun a volcano, earthquake, flood and any other conceivable natural disaster combined — not to mention he gets to drive a Bentley.

My close group of friends and I crammed into the Jeep and headed to Nashville for the midnight showing, as is our tradition for many major releases. The woman at the counter, clearly not worried about the end of the world, casually asked us if we would like to watch the prediction of our future on the IMAX screen. We kept our extra $2.

The theater was surprisingly empty for a movie that could possibly change our lives. I suppose the majority of moviegoers are not cheapskates and opted for the big screen. They must have known saving money is obviously fruitless, since the end of the world is inevitable.

As the lights went down and we watched what seemed like an hour of commercials and previews, I began to contemplate the meaning of this movie. Would I survive an apocalyptic occurrence? No. Would I have enough money to buy my way into some sort of secret government safe harbor? No.

I began to think I’d like to know whether or not it will happen, so I can enjoy my remaining time on our not-so-green Earth.

Then it hit me like a fireball from the sky. The world is not going to end in 2012, silly. Once again, the world is falling into another Y2K-style trap. It just so happens the movie industry is cashing in on it this time.

Although I do not believe we are facing the end of days, I think this 2012 paranoia can still cause problems. There is a scene in the movie in which people are rioting in the streets as the date draws near, causing chaos and confusion. I can definitely see this happening in a realistic sense. People tend to take matters like this to heart, and government conspiracies are an American favorite. I’d rather not have to witness people becoming animals.

I’m also nearly positive that come December of that year, I will have no groceries. With widespread panic comes an obsessive need to stock up on milk and bread. You know, because if you don’t have electricity at the end of the world, your milk will somehow stay cold.

Oh wait, I forgot, there will be another ice age, so of course it will.

People will spend thousands of dollars on souped-up bomb shelters that will someday serve only to house their troublesome adolescent children. Hard hats will become the latest fashion accessory, and no one will dare leave home without their brand new earthquake-resistant Hummers and end-of-the-world survival kits.

I think this is a terrible time for the film industry to make a movie like this. I can’t help but wonder what’s next.
We’re in an economic recession and two wars, on top of tons of other problems we can’t seem to fix. Why encourage the crazies? We’ll be paying for it later when we receive loads of educational and religious material in the mail and on every street corner, and eventually when we are trampled in a riot on our way to get coffee.

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