Dear Dwonna:
I’m in a class with a lot of non-traditional students, and they seem to waste a lot of class time talking about their life experiences. The professor allows the students to go on and on while the rest of us younger people sit there bored.
Not only is my time is being wasted, but my parent’s tuition money is being wasted since I’m not learning the material I’m supposed to learn. What should I do?
Signed,
“Not quite ready for the nursing home”
Dear “Not Quite Ready”:
I asked my boyfriend what he would do if he sat in a class with an older student who talked all the time, and he said he would tell the student to “shut the hell up.” When I told him that would be rude, he said the non-traditional student was rude and wasting class time by talking about himself.
I have to say I agree with my boyfriend. Although I have been known to allow non-traditional students to spend an inordinate amount of time telling their stories (even when it doesn’t really relate to what I’m teaching), it is usually done with a purpose.
Often, when I want an older student’s perspective, I’ll ask, “Where’s my resident old person to speak on this topic?”
I will then let the non-traditional student speak, but I try not to let him or her go on and on because it can get a bit tiring — and boring.
There is often a lot to be learned from non-traditional students in the classroom; however, you need to find your courage to ask the student to refrain from telling personal stories so that your professor can get back to the class material.
You can do this privately after class, or you can be like my boyfriend and just say your piece during class. Or, you can speak with the professor and ask them to reign in the talkative non-trad’s ramblings.
Dear Dwonna:
What if it’s true that Hokey Pokey is “what it’s all about”?
Signed,
“Worried”
Dear “Worried”:
What is the Hokey Pokey? Does the Hokey Pokey even exist? What if the Hokey Pokey is as good as it gets? Aren’t there more important things to worry about, Worried?
After my work to bring peace to the Middle East and to cure hunger throughout the world has come to fruition, then I’ll turn my energies to finding out whether or not the Hokey Pokey is really all it’s about.
Dear Dwonna:
Last weekend, I went out drinking with a group of friends. In the group was a guy I don’t really like, but have made out with a few times on a few previous occassions. Well, we made out on Friday, and then on Saturday — when I had had too much to drink again — I went by his house, only to find that he was entertaining another girl.
I’m kind of embarrassed and unsure how to approach him now that I’m sober again. Any suggestions?
Signed,
“Whiskey Lullaby”
Dear “Whiskey Lullaby”:
Let me first say I hope you were not drinking and driving. Always make sure you have a designated driver, and your DD should agree before you go out not to drink any alcohol.
Second, you need to stop making out with random dudes. You are sending him a mixed message, and it sounds like this guy is a player.
As a young college student, you need to do a better job of not putting yourself in precarious situations. Not surprisingly, alcohol and “frisky” men are not a good combination for any college student.
As for what you should do the next time you see your kissing buddy, you should employ my favorite tactic called “Stupid and Cheerful.” Just act like nothing happened, and if he mentions your swinging by, just start laughing uncontrollably and talking about what a drunk you were that Saturday night.
But, on a serious note again, you really need to make sure you take a responsible person with you when you go out drinking so that you do not end up doing something stupid.
When I was at the University of Iowa, my friend Roger always escorted me to make sure I didn’t do or say something stupid, like the time there was a big fight outside a bar and I yelled “fight! fight!” He wouldn’t let me go out without him after that. Find your own Roger to keep you out of trouble.
Dear Dwonna:
If you are doing a group project and someone isn’t doing his or her share of the work, should you tell the professor?
Signed,
“Group Project Flunkee”
Dear “Group Project Flunkee”:
I often do not assign group projects for just this reason. When I do assign group projects, however, I always tell the students that if they have someone in their group who is not pulling his/her weight to speak to me because it is unfair for a student who is not helping with the project to get full credit.
The best thing for you to do is e-mail your professor to set up an appointment, and then when you meet with your professor, make sure you have specific examples about what your group is doing and what the other person is not doing. Most professors are not going to think you are a tattle tale by “telling” on your lazy and shiftless group member; in fact, we want to know who is not pulling his or her weight so we can assign a grade that accurately reflects the work of each group member.
Dear Dwonna:
I live in the dorms on campus, and my roommate and I share a bathroom with two other girls. They never seem to put any toilet paper in the bathroom, yet they use ours all the time. What should my roommate and I do to get them to buy their own and to stop them from using ours?
Signed,
“Toilet Paper Trouble”
Dear “Toilet Paper Trouble”
When I was a graduate student at Brown University, I shared a house with a male and a female. The male refused to buy toilet paper, so my female roommate and I carried our own toilet paper into the bathroom with us and then took it with us when we left.
This apparently did not bother our male roommate until his girlfriend came to visit, at which point he began to restock the bathroom with toilet paper on a more regular basis. Perhaps having to “drip dry” a time or two will teach your suitemates to restock the toilet paper. As petty as this might be, it should teach you to always check for toilet paper before squatting to do your business.
Dear Dwonna:
Help me! I’m 24 years old, and my boyfriend of four years wants to get married. I’m graduating from the Peay in December, and I don’t think I’m ready for the white picket fence and 2.5 children and 1.5 dogs. What do you think I should do?
Signed,
“All Out of Love”
Dear “All Out of Love”:
This was one of my favorite Air Supply songs. Sorry, this isn’t about me, is it? Listen to your instincts; your subconscious is smarter than you. If you’re not ready to settle down and make a life with this man, then heed your gut. At 24, you’re probably too young to be able to select the person you want to spend the rest of your life with.
Dwonna Naomi Goldstone is an associate professor in the department of languages and literature, associate dean in the College of Arts and Letters, and is the coordinator of the African-American studies minor.
Submit your questions to Dwonna Goldstone at goldstoned@apsu.edu.
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